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ADOPTER Q&A: Mahmood & Parveen

October 18, 2017


Mahmood and Parveen* became parents earlier this year with the help of SFCS. They adopted siblings – brothers aged 17 months and 5 months. This National Adoption Week, they share their experiences with us in this insightful Q&A.

*All names have been changed for reasons of confidentiality

 

How did you arrive at the decision to adopt?

It was something that we discussed when we first met many years ago, even before we tried for natural children of our own. We made the decision then. The decision was further strengthened when we were told (eight years later) that we would not be able to have natural birth children of our own.

One of the reasons for us deciding to adopt was our religion – Islam. Islam puts a lot of emphasis on helping other people and the Holy Quran specifically mentions helping orphans or those who do not have parents for any reason.

 

How many children have you adopted, and how old were they when you adopted them?

We were blessed to have adopted two beautiful baby boys, both brothers. They were 5 months old and 17 months old at the time of adoption.

 

Describe the adoption process from your point of view.

The preparation and training that we received from St Francis Children’s Society was great, but some of it was tough. It was honest and showed the real side of being adoptive parents. Of course, going into adoption can be scary and many thoughts go through your mind regarding the children and their background.

We had a number of misconceptions about the adoption process. We had lots of questions about the various processes involved, but these were quickly answered by our social worker and she put our minds at rest.

Whilst we were still nervous and apprehensive, it is difficult to explain how reassured, calm and happy we felt when we actually met our boys for the first time.

We felt that we were fully prepared to adopt our children, but as with any parents, we did find it quite difficult at the start. It was a steep learning curve for us but we followed the training that we were given and were lucky that both our children settled into to good routines. This was good for both us and the children.

What was the matching process like? Did you find it positive or challenging?

Our Social worker at St Francis did a magnificent job at matching us with our boys. The process was made simple and straightforward and not demanding in any way. We were made to feel comfortable through the whole process and our social worker quickly and positively answered our questions.

 

Describe the first time you met your children

It is difficult to put this into words. It was a magical moment for us both and I am sure for the children also. We spent a week getting to know our boys in their foster home before they came to us, which was a great help.

 

Was there anything that surprised you throughout your adoption journey?

Becoming parents! Even though we knew what to expect, becoming a parent can be daunting and testing at times. We had to learn to adapt and change our lifestyle to suit our children and us as a new family. This has worked out to be an amazing change for us all.

 

How has your life changed as a result of adopting?

Life is better. We are a family now and we cannot imagine living without each other. Yes, we have had to change and adapt our lifestyle to suit our children and I am sure this will change further as they grow and develop and their needs change, but this is all for the better.

 

Do you have any advice for others who might be considering adoption?

Go for it! You will not regret it. Your life will be filled with joy and happiness.

 

If you are considering adoption, you can find out more about our Adoption Connections service here.  You can also check out our adoption resources, read more real adoption stories and find out about our next information events. And if you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to get in touch with us – we’d love to hear from you.


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